Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Thirty days

I have been feeling quite asunder these last thirty days.  My health is failing, and I have chosen this format to quelsh my longing to share things I have to share.  I was told once, at a young christians conference that to read one chapter of the book of Proverbs each day for thirty days.  I've never done it.  I'm now practicing a spiritual path, and probably has a lot more to do with Pythagoras than Jesus.  My Higher Power...is my Higher Power, that's it.  But when I was feeling so bad last night, I did say to 'God' that I needed a few more days.  I woke up this morning, and my heart wasn't pounding, it wasn't hurting.  I have a few more days I guess.

I went to study the acoustical effects of the Continental Cathedral naive versus the English cathedral naive, in 1974.  And my art bloomed in Paris, in the late Spring, in May.  I went to the Paris school of art, and heard a professor say that Picasso once said that for an aspiring artist were to become very good, he or she would sketch everyday... for thirty days.  I've never done it.  I think I tried a few dozen times, but those mind and mood altering substances always got in the way, or just plain didn't care about being a better artist than what I was born with.

I had a watercolor professor in College that said something about doing a watercolor a day for thirty days, and I did do that once.

In Narcotics Anonymous I learned that if I really had wanted to get clean, once and for all, that I had to come to a meeting everyday... for ninty days.  And I have done that... a few times even.  I really wanted that for my life, more than religion... more than talent... even more than Art.